ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Enjoy the penises
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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