I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
