My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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