Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
