He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
