your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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