who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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