when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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