i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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