why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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