I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
