I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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