Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
