I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
