Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
