The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
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sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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