At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
