she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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