This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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