I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
