I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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