i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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