so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
