If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
