I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
