anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
