So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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