I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
