Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
