This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Damn victory sex feels great
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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