why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
