How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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