was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
