so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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