Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
