How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
