We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
