I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
