Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
