Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Duck Duck Cougar?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize