I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
