I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
