We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
