You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
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We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
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We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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