never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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