He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
