ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
