I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
