actually, I'm a sock model
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my phone needs a breathalizer
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
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