You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i don't like sucking hair
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
