Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
