sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Still dying that you shit outside
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize