Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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