It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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