Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
