I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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