All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize