just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
