when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
