i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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