If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
