I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
