im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
