I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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