it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
