smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You are the jesus of drinking
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
