you would pick up someone in the library
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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